I’m going to add to the chorus of voices here advising you to stick with homeassistant. It is hands down the best open source home automation platform.
If you need help with reverse proxy let me know if you’re using nginx. There are a few header configurations that are required for the home assistant interface and I’d be glad to share my nginx configuration file.
You could also pay $6/month for nabu casa and they will proxy everything for you in the cloud.
Damn this was my first thought too.
Someone pass me an AARP card and a Costco-sized tube of ointment…