• Saff@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      109
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      7 months ago

      Hopefully it less hormonal side affects than the female pill. But yeah having an extra level of protection will be nice.

      • Norgur@fedia.io
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        128
        arrow-down
        26
        ·
        7 months ago

        “Extra Level”? It’s more about taking the burden off the women for me. Why do they, and only they, always have to mess up their bodies?

        • Saff@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          77
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          Obviously it depends on the relationship and how risk averse you both are. But yeah why not both? Seems like a pretty good way to be really sure!

            • kofe@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              17
              ·
              7 months ago

              Sucks you’re being down voted, I mean maybe saying “idiot-proof” isn’t nice but comprehensive sex ed should cover helping those with a noodle understand how to find ones that fit comfortably and what main causes there are for breakage n whatnot. I’m currently having that discussion with my sex buddy, and I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had people try to coerce me into letting them go raw dog in the past. Like keep in mind I’m in a state that has not only criminalized abortion but is defunding all planned parenthoods now.

              • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                7 months ago

                Like keep in mind I’m in a state that has not only criminalized abortion but is defunding all planned parenthoods now.

                Bummer.

                2/3 of the states will follow in another year. That’s what happens when we elect people no matter how badly they do their jobs.

                • kofe@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  3
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  I’m not voting for this scum, but yeah, we’ll see. Hoping it’ll make it to the ballot so the people can actually vote to amend the state constitution like others have. The people may be dumb at electing Representatives, but get a straight forward measure up for vote and the people seem to follow through in correcting it.

            • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              arrow-down
              2
              ·
              7 months ago

              They’re 100% effective, the only reason there said to be 99% effective is to prevent lawsuits from people using then incorrectly.

              • Prandom_returns@lemm.ee
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                7 months ago

                I’m a human, I can make mistakes in the heat of the moment. I’ve had friend couples I know get pregnant even though they’re “professional condom putters onners”.

                • Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  4
                  arrow-down
                  2
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  It’s not the condom’s fault if you make a mistake. Condom material doesn’t let sperm through, it’s that simple, it’s been used incorrectly if it did. Companies don’t want to lose time and money with lawsuits hence 99%.

                  Also, anecdotal evidence while you weren’t in bed with them isn’t much of a proof, it’s as valid as me telling you I’ve never got any girl pregnant even when we weren’t using any protection therefore pulling out is 100% effective.

        • AEsheron@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          The hippocratic oath, in this case. Medicine is all about risk management, the worse the “disease,” the more tolerant we are of side effects for the cure. Pregnancy and birth are still pretty traumatic events that, while much safer than they used to be, are still dangerous. Female BC just has to be less risky than that. Male BC on the other hand, has to be as low the risk for a man impregnating a woman, which is to say, almost zero. Pretty much any negative side effect is worse than that, so it’s very difficult to pass. I would gladly take one with comparable side effects to female BC, but sometimes unflinching ethics are inconvenient. Better than the alternative, but still.

          • howrar@lemmy.ca
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            ·
            7 months ago

            Somehow, we manage to accept organ transplants despite it hurting one healthy person a little to help an unhealthy person a lot. What’s stopping us from treating birth control the same way?

          • Pips@lemmy.sdf.org
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            7 months ago

            It’s medical ethics, not the Hippocratic Oath. Most doctors swear to an ethical standard. Besides, “first, do no harm” is a bit unhelpful if you’re a surgeon.

            Otherwise you’re right, the risks of pregnancy outweigh the side effects of birth control, which is why birth control for women doesn’t have as high a standard for mitigating other consequences.

          • Norgur@fedia.io
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            14
            ·
            edit-2
            7 months ago

            The Hippocratic oath is not a thing in most countries and not applicable anyway. If it was, kidney transplants would be done without a doctor present (in the US that is, don’t overestimate your little made up oath ritual internationally)

        • umbrella@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          11
          arrow-down
          9
          ·
          7 months ago

          we can finally share the load and mess up everyone because of not affording babies!

          • Norgur@fedia.io
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            22
            arrow-down
            4
            ·
            7 months ago

            yeah, not wanting 10 children is a matter of cost, of course. It’s baffling to me how unreflected and naive opinions regarding reproduction still are…

            • YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              14
              arrow-down
              3
              ·
              7 months ago

              Right? I’m at the point where I can’t possibly fathom the thought process of bringing a child into this world.

              • Norgur@fedia.io
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                9
                ·
                7 months ago

                I’ve got one, but I wouldn’t want another one every year, and I certainly would not want to stop having fun times with the wife either…

            • umbrella@lemmy.ml
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              edit-2
              7 months ago

              i was half joking but i use contraceptives because i cant afford one.

              i’m not even thinking about 10 and never will.

        • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          14
          arrow-down
          64
          ·
          7 months ago

          What do you mean by always? The birth control makes sense because it’s much harder to do it for men because sperm is constantly being produced and women only release 1 egg per month. What other ways do women have to mess up their bodies?

          • Norgur@fedia.io
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            76
            arrow-down
            7
            ·
            7 months ago

            Oh, wow, do you come off as uninformed! Birth control for women has tons and tons of side effects, and it’s in no way easier to prevent successful ovulation than it is to prevent fertile sperm production. In fact, birth control drugs for men have been repeatedly blocked by regulators for having too many side effects, while those side effects pretty closely mirror those of the pill for women. So, interfering with everything from blood pressure to appetite is acceptable when women are affected, but can’t be burdened upon men?

            Interrupting the ovulation cycle comes at great cost for the body. All the “non-hormonal” ways of birth control we have (except the condom) require either poisonous metals and foreign objects to be pushed inside the uterus, increasing the risk for cysts, causing pain, and regular checkups and painful procedures to be applied or fitted (diaphragm). Or toxins to be applied straight into a woman’s private parts (spermicides). Calendar-based methods and “pulling out” have large margins of error, as have condoms.

            • Pulptastic@midwest.social
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              12
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              7 months ago

              Do the copper IEDs have negative side effects? I thought the objection to those was purely moral.

              Edit: I meant IUD lol

              • Fermion@mander.xyz
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                33
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                7 months ago

                My wife got repeated infections and had a lot of pain from the copper iud.

                If you go looking for testimonials you’ll find numerous people who had bad experiences with it.

                Also, they really should offer anesthetic or at least a powerful painkiller for the insertion and removal procedures. Doctors act like it’s no big deal, but it’s very painful.

                • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  5
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  Yet another case of the medical industry not caring one iota about women and women’s ability to identify what is going on with their own bodies. The number of times I’ve heard of doctors dismissing women’s pain and issues makes me want to scream.

              • Norgur@fedia.io
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                19
                arrow-down
                4
                ·
                7 months ago

                Yep.

                Firstly: Disregarding the discomfort of having to see the doctor and having something shoved inside your body is a weird mistake, especially men tend to make regularly when talking about those things. Having your genitals exposed to and then painfully tampered with by what is ultimately a stranger isn’t a thing most people would describe as a pleasant afternoon activity.

                The side effects aren’t just from hormones. Imagine having to do a prostate exam every 6 months and a metal plug shoved close to your prostate through your urethra every few years (not the same, of course, just an attempt at an analogy, since men are one hole short down there). Wouldn’t you dislike that? Many women are really sensitive around their cervix and implanting the IUD can therefore be really painful.

                Secondly: Period cramps increase in severity, bleeding increases for most people, and there are hints that those IUDs can increase the risk for cysts, which in turn cause issues, pain and sometimes need surgical removal.

                • SaltySalamander@fedia.io
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  5
                  arrow-down
                  18
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  7 months ago

                  Period cramps increase in severity, bleeding increases for most people

                  The two women I dated that had an implanted IUD legit didn’t have a period anymore. So not only was the bleeding and cramps not worse, they simply didn’t exist.

                  You honestly seem to just trying to be pushing some agenda, possibly because you had a bad experience and you’re assuming that’s just the way it is for everyone, when the reality is it’s pretty rare.

              • Excrubulent@slrpnk.net
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                10
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                edit-2
                7 months ago

                IEDs have very negative effects, but you wouldn’t really call them side-effects.

                And IUDs involve surgery which has its own risks including perforating the uterus, plus they can become infected and cause sepsis which is deadly, plus in general infections suck. Some women suffer immense pain which may or may not be ignored by their doctors. They also do release hormones which have fewer side effects because they’re more local, but they’re not side effect free.

                Many of these issues were much worse in the earlier days, where many women died or suffered serious illness and permanent infertility whilst doctors didn’t take them seriously because women are often ignored by doctors where men would not be. So the level of safety the devices now have was bought with a lot of women’s unnecessary suffering.

                https://www.verywellhealth.com/iud-risks-and-complications-906766

            • Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              4
              ·
              7 months ago

              Honestly, as glad as this article makes me, I’d still like to see a perfect birth control for women. Periods seem like they must be the worst part of being a woman (biologically, not socially). Having a temporary, reversible way to stop ovulation without fucking up a dozen related systems and causing physical and mental anguish would be nice.

            • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              9
              arrow-down
              13
              ·
              7 months ago

              I know it has many side effects. My girfriend suffered many of them when she was taking the pill and I had to beg her to stop because it just was not worth it.

              And fuck off of course it’s easier to stop ovulation than sperm production. It’s a numbers game. Also not like I fucking made hormonal birth control. What we have now is bad and you can go ahead and find a better alternative with less side effects. That does not mean the new birth control should also have side effects. Take issue with the people that approved the current ones.

              • Norgur@fedia.io
                link
                fedilink
                arrow-up
                10
                arrow-down
                3
                ·
                7 months ago

                A “numbers game”? Do you think there are little men in your balls, strangulating every sperm cell when it’s formed? Or… do you think the pill works by somehow interfering with the ovum itself?

                Because it doesn’t. Quite the opposite. Just as male contraception methods don’t try to kill sperm, but to shut down the factory. Besides: You cannot measure the difficulty or complexity of medical procedures by how many cells are affected. By that logic, brain surgery would be way easier to do than amputating a leg.

                • WIZARD POPE💫@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  arrow-up
                  6
                  arrow-down
                  6
                  ·
                  7 months ago

                  What I meant is that it’s easier to ensure it works being a numbers game. If you constantly have new sperm being made it’s way harder to shut that down consistently than to stop one egg releasing once per month.

                • Norgur@fedia.io
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  5
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  7 months ago

                  Woah there, you shouldn’t berate someone, belittling them for being “too young” and then act like a child in the supermarket when they didn’t get the Matchbox Car they wanted. Jeez!

              • YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                8
                arrow-down
                1
                ·
                edit-2
                7 months ago

                Condoms don’t work for everyone’s body.

                Edit: to be clear I’m saying it’s not that simple. There should be more options for anyone with a penis to be able to handle this important implication of having sex. For anyone in general, more options are always good.

            • dacreator@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              18
              arrow-down
              9
              ·
              7 months ago

              Calling someone dumb isn’t a good way to start a discussion. When men wear condoms how can you claim the onus is on women? My wife didn’t want to take hormones so I wore condoms, every couple has that option.

          • Victor@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            7
            ·
            7 months ago

            Forgetting about pregnancy and childbirth perhaps? I take it that they meant those things fuck up women’s bodies pretty severely sometimes. It’s a tough struggle to recover from pregnancy and childbirth, and some never do.

            But apart from that, birth control should be an equal burden, IMO.

    • FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      26
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      Same. I’ve always preferred to be in full control of my own contraception, mostly because I just don’t trust anyone else with something that consequential

      • kofe@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        7 months ago

        Will definitely be awesome when all parties have comfortable, reliable, safe options to protect themselves

    • AlexWIWA@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      Agreed. Always better to unload the gun rather than try to stop it with armor

    • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      13
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      The Caveat is that it is permanent and irreversible for the average person with very few exceptions.

      EDIT: added “for the average person”

      • cro_magnon_gilf@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        Another caveat is that it’s not allowed for men under 25 in my country (Sweden). “My body - my choice” only applies to one gender lol

        edit: Although, to be fair, sterilisation is also not allowed for women under 25. They do ofc have many more options though

        • Syntha@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          Successful reversal meaning they managed to glue the tubes back together. Successful pregnancies are significantly lower afaik

        • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          7 months ago

          Yeah, but how available are those clinics to the average person? I’ve never looked into it personally, but I assume travel is necessary and costs are out of pocket.

          • nickwitha_k (he/him)@lemmy.sdf.org
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            7 months ago

            Absolutely a correct take, I’d say. I know that my insurance would cover it but this is the first time that I’ve EVER had insurance that would touch anything related to fertility (beyond female birth control) with a 10ft pole. I’d say that it’s fair to say that the average person in the US does not have access, mainly due to the awful level of “normal” for healthcare accessibility.

            I’ve looked into it recently, myself. I wanted to see if the snip was an option due to how hormonal birth control impacts by wife. With the desire to still have kids at some point, it’s not a sure enough thing currently and is not recommended for people like me (“if you’re looking into reversibility, it’s probably not for you”). When I last looked a decade ago, success rates were topping out around 60-70%. Advances in surgical technique and technology have really improved things though. If only something like vasalgel would actually see availability - I’m not confident though, after two decades of failure.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      How was the recovery process? I keep meaning to do it (we’re done having kids), but we keep having trips or whatever, so excuses pile up.

      How soon could I be back doing active things? I have young kids, so “active” to me means roughhousing with the kids and whatnot.

      • Bizzle@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        7 months ago

        When I did mine, I drove myself home and put a bag of peas on there for the afternoon. I was fine pretty much right away, but I think medical advice says wait 3 days before you do anything wild.

        Plus you have to ejaculate like 30 times in two weeks to clean out the pipes, but your sperm is still active so you can only do hand and mouth stuff. That was a pretty good two weeks.

        It’s literally so easy and the peace of mind is really nice especially if you’re impulsive as fuck like me.

        • jballs@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          ·
          7 months ago

          I think medical advice says wait 3 days before you do anything wil

          My brother only waited 2 days because he felt like he was recovering well. He said everything felt great right up to the point he nutted. Then it was like someone punched him in the balls. He was like "oh yes… oh yes… OH YES… OH GOD NO!!!

      • TheIllustrativeMan@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        7 months ago

        My recovery was honestly pretty bad. I was bed-ridden for about 2 weeks, then 8-ish months of aching pain all day every day. Not actually sure when it finally cleared up, I just realized I hadn’t felt the pain in a while. My first nut was about a month after the procedure, and that was also a very unpleasant experience.

        My case is abnormal, but even more rare is the guys that continue to be in pain for the rest of their lives. Didn’t find out about that until I started digging deeper because of my persistent pain.

        That said, I still 100% recommend getting it done.

        • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          7 months ago

          but even more rare is the guys that continue to be in pain for the rest of their lives

          EVEN AFTER REVERSING THE PROCEDURE

          Look, it’s SUPER rare. We still drive cars even though, using my state of California as an example, eight of us die on the roads every day.

          But…

          I could never forgive myself if my groin hurt thirty years from now because of a singular & highly-optional decision I made today.

          Same with LASIK - some have dry eyes forever afterwards. Nooooooo

        • shrodes@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          7 months ago

          My case is abnormal, but even more rare is the guys that continue to be in pain for the rest of their lives. Didn’t find out about that until I started digging deeper because of my persistent pain.

          Dang that sucks your urologist / surgeon didn’t let you know about this. Mine was very clear that though it is rare (was quoted 1% which seems kind high to me) he doesn’t recommend going through with the procedure if you have testicular pain in your day to day as it could be a risk factor for having permanent pain afterwards

        • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          7 months ago

          I knew a guy who didn’t respond to the local anesthesia, and could feel the whole thing, and his doctor didn’t believe him.

          Even he didn’t regret it.

        • TK420@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          Mine was rough too, about 6 months before I was normal.

          Not a single fucking regret

          • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            7 months ago

            I’m so sorry, that’s horrid! I have multiple friends who came home with no pain, didn’t do cum for a few weeks, and basically didn’t even notice anything.

            That’s so fucking horrible, I wish you had a much better experience. At least you can dump in the gut eternally with no worries, though.

      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        7 months ago

        Make sure you get your own pain medication ahead of time. Mine was apparently worse than the other replies, and the doctor being stingy about meds made it needlessly terrible.

        No I don’t otherwise do opiates. Doctors are just stingy because of the people who are on opiates.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          7 months ago

          Good advice. I’ve never had surgery outside of wisdom teeth removal, and other than then, I’ve never used anything stronger than ibuprofen. I’ve taken some pretty rough spills, so I think I have a high pain tolerance, but I don’t know for sure.

      • realbadat@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        7 months ago

        Pretty quick.

        My kids are currently 5 and 2 had my vasectomy about 6 months after the second (wanted sooner but no appointments available, and it’s first consult then another appointment).

        Toughest thing for me was the second day. Day of I was given Valium, procedure was easy peasy. I’d call it a few days of discomfort, just plan to take it easy.

      • NielsBohron@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        7 months ago

        Not OP, but mine was really pretty manageable. 2 days of sitting in an easy chair and icing my balls, 2 days of “walking is fine, but avoid any sudden movements,” and a week of “it’s a little sore, but it doesn’t really hurt.” After that, it was about 2-3 weeks where I didn’t really notice it unless I moved the wrong way too suddenly (whereupon I’d get a quick twinge, but nothing too bad).

        Really a pretty small cost for the benefits. I don’t really like painkillers, but I do recommend some THC gummies for the first week and a fresh series to binge

      • Billiam@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        7 months ago

        Not bad at all.

        For the first week doc said no erections- turns out not getting hard was the hardest part. After that, it was like a month or so of no unprotected sex. It’s been a few years so I might not remember correctly, but I think he recommended like 15 to 20 ejaculations in that time frame. And I’m going to humble brag here- I’ve been blessed with a wife whose libido is way higher than mine. But that month, knowing that each orgasm was one step closer to her not having kids again- she made it her mission in life to knock those orgasms out as fast as I could get it up.

        I didn’t really have any swelling that I can remember- I iced my scrotum for a few hours but it didn’t hurt too bad so I stopped after that. Some acetaminophen helped with the residual pain, and I think I had to take it easy for a couple of weeks- don’t lift anything heavy to strain your groin muscles.

        All in all, I don’t regret it and highly recommend anyone who is done having children to get one.

        • DaPorkchop_@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          7 months ago

          How the hell is one supposed to avoid getting any erections? Morning wood isn’t exactly something people have any degree of control over…

      • sh00g@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        7 months ago

        I got mine last year. I was fully recovered in terms of physical activity within probably 4-5 days but I did get two very uncomfortable sperm granulomas that hung around for several days each. My nuts swelled up and turned purple so that was pretty fucking scary but it wasn’t anything dangerous. Just a lot of aching. But within a month I was completely back to normal.

      • iiGxC@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        Hmm I’m not sure. I got it over summer in college and work a desk job, so I got it done on friday, chilled all weekend on the couch watching movies, building legos, snacking, and icing my nuts, and I was back to work on monday

      • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        Mine wasn’t too bad. I spent a couple days on the couch taking OTC pain killers, and was able to move around well enough to light house work after a couple days. Honestly the hardest part was the month waiting to have sex before I could confirm it worked.

      • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        Multiple of my friends reported being totally fine right after, with no pain. Not even frozen peas. But they all waited a couple weeks before doing cum again.

      • storcholus@feddit.de
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 months ago

        The worst was over in a couple of days but for the next three months it stuff there was a slight discomfort in some situations

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          My close bois had a really easy time, they all said “something felt different for a week or two but life was normal otherwise”

          A small percentage of dudes have a horrible time though, and that’s awful.

    • Wanderer@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      7 months ago

      I’m worried about pain. Also pain lasting a long/ permanent time.

      Also I had epididymitis already. So maybe I shouldn’t go for it.

      But too many guys get lied to and end up with a kid they didn’t want. That’s my biggest worry.

  • TheGrandNagus@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    100
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 months ago

    Man if this is effective in both cost and a high efficacy rate, then I’m so down, assuming I don’t experience awful side effects.

    I had the unfortunate experience of a manipulative woman lying about using protection, and it led to me developing a fear of others doing the same. It severely effected my dating/sex life all through my 20s.

    If either party (or both!) can take easily-attainable birth control, it’d be so much better than we have it now.

    It’s a shame that male birth control has been so much more difficult to develop, probably due to the male reproductive system not relying on a cycle that can be quite easily interrupted.

      • kameecoding@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        35
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 months ago

        Well the condom paradox says that if a casual partner is willing to have sex with you without condom that’s the biggest indicator for the need of a condom

    • theangryseal@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      28
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      I exist because my mother told my father that she was taking birth control. My father hasn’t been a part of my life except on a few occasions where he wanted to be here and there, and I don’t hold a grudge. My mom proudly told me this when I was about 9. I don’t blame her either, she raised herself from the time she was 4 years old when her mother committed suicide. She did the best she could with what she had as a person with no education and no parents to guide her.

      My father came for the birth of my oldest biological child. He came for a few Christmases. He showed up when I was going through a divorce and helped me fix a car for my now ex. He didn’t have to do any of that. I barely know him at all, and even though it bums me out from time to time, it is what it is.

      Life is a mess for everybody haha.

      • Shou@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        18
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 months ago

        It’s not always the mother being deceptive.

        My mother wanted a child. A family. She was clear about it from the start. My dad didn’t. Probably didn’t communicate it. He didn’t bother using protection either. When my mom got pregnant on the first go, he wanted an abortion. No responsibility.

        He tried to hide his autism from my also autistic mother. They didn’t understand autism back then. She herself considered aborting me out of fear of having a retarded child. She zoned out for weeks, and when she learned I was a girl, she believed god had blessed her. For she thought girls can’t be autistic.

        Lo and behold, my sister and I were neglected intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Because they did not understand parents supposed to teach children, not threaten them with a belt when the kid doesn’t adhere to their autistic whims/expectations.

        We raised ourselves with 0 guidence and am I far behind the average person. They are both not asocial, lonely and happy we exist as a means to reduce their misery.

        They should never have had children. Life is a mess.

        • Fungah@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          5
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          7 months ago

          My father bounced on my mother, thinking me and my twin sister died during childbirth. We were split up to keep.it that way. She grew up like royalty, with everything a child could possibly want or need, while I grew up in the desert with my aunt and uncle, who were both unfortunately killed while.I was in my late teens.

          They’d lied to me about who my father really was after I was reunited with my sister, and the first time I ever met him I found out first hand how cruel he could be and I unfortunately lost my hand in the fray.

          Despite this, he tried everything he could to get me to come work for him and his asshole boss. And mentor.

          Ultimately he redeemed himself when he threw that wrinkled prick.down an 3levator shaft, but died soon after.

          Life’s a mess.

      • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        I misread the [raised herself] bit as [raised you herself] and I thought maybe you were a halucinating ai generating word salad for a minute lol.

        • theangryseal@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          7 months ago

          And also, preaching to the choir I’m sure, that’s the biggest reason I hate AI. We’re already contending with misinformation and bad information, and here comes the confused talking computer to make things worse.

    • woelkchen@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      25
      arrow-down
      45
      ·
      7 months ago

      It’s a shame that male birth control has been so much more difficult to develop

      Nah, condoms exist since ages and has many other benefits.

      • HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        53
        arrow-down
        18
        ·
        7 months ago

        The problem with condoms though is that they suck. Like, ugh, I’ll put on the toque of shame but stopping a frisky moment to apply birth control is just plain annoying.

        Give me the swim team hiatus pill I can take before getting the penis brain, please and thanks.

      • Allero@lemmy.today
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        20
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        Condoms can break and have potential to make intercourse less pleasant, especially for men.

        Male birth control can serve both as a backup to a condom and as a way to experience the pleasure of sex without condom while not risking impregnation.

        It essentially has the same benefits as female birth control, except men can now be in charge too, and can also use this kind of protection when it is not recommended to a woman for medical reasons. Besides, you can always combine both to make it extra reliable.

        Sure, condoms are essentially the only way to stop transmission of STIs during penetrative sex. But when we talk about healthy permanent partners, this is not commonly an issue.

  • humdrumgentleman@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    93
    arrow-down
    14
    ·
    7 months ago

    Friendly reminder of the core problem: medical treatments are all balanced against the risk of what it counteracts.

    Undergoing physical and chemical changes to grow another creature inside you and have it damage everything on the way out is pretty risky. Female birth control only has to be less risky than that.

    A male has zero physiological risk from impregnating someone. Therefore, anything except a miracle drug with high efficacy and almost zero side effects is going to stall at the trial stage.

    On another note, that speaks to how safe and effective vasectomies are.

      • HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        30
        arrow-down
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        Yeah zero psychological risk is a bit of an overstatement. Zero physical maybe, but there’s definitely psychological risks, and I’m not even thinking about child support

        Edit: I can’t read, it says physiological and I’m just deficient in the reading

    • OmgItBurns@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      7 months ago

      I will say this as often as I can, getting the ol snip snip was the best decision I’ve ever made.

        • rudyharrelson@kbin.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          7 months ago

          Not that guy, but I have one kid who I love to bits. Got a vasectomy when he was 2 years old cause we would explode if we had a second kid, lol. One is enough for us. We’ve been incredibly fortunate so we decided we didn’t need any more surprises.

          The doc who did mine was a military vet who went into urology after serving. I remember reading the pamphlet on the operation and it said the vasectomy only took 15 minutes. I asked him, “It only takes 15 minutes??” and he responded, “Eight.”

          I like a good speedrun as much as the next guy, but I told him to take his sweet time lol. Ain’t in no rush, doc.

          Recovery was super chill. Couldn’t roughhouse with my son for a week or two, and that’s about it. I’ve got some fun titanium clamps chilling in my junk now, so that’s fun. I’m basically Wolverine.

    • constantokra@lemmy.one
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 months ago

      There are also plenty of medical reasons for even sexually inactive women to take hormonal birth control. This isn’t only about pregnancy, which as you say can have all sorts of physical consequences.

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    78
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 months ago

    Oh, I’m way ahead of them there, with 44 years of shitty diet and lifestyle choices.

  • PPQ@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    62
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    7 months ago

    Ha jokes on them, the plastic in my balls is permanently shutting of my sperm!

    • Hackworth@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      41
      arrow-down
      6
      ·
      7 months ago

      Women’s birth control hasn’t exactly been side-effect-free, what with the strokes. But also, sauce?

    • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      47
      arrow-down
      12
      ·
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      The point of the joke is not that they think men are being babies about it. It is that women’s birth control causes these same side effects, along with strokes, and a number of other serious, long term issues. However when women say they do not want to take birth control, and instead opt for doing things that require more responsibility of the man, they are often told similar things concerning the negative effects they get when using it, and they should just deal with it.

        • twig@lemmy.dbzer0.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          27
          arrow-down
          10
          ·
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          That is actually not true. Not downplaying the significance of these effects, but…

          In the 60s and 70s a large number of planned parenthood clinics were in low-income and predominantly black neighbourhoods, aimed at reducing the number of black babies.

          In the same era birth control (more appropriately termed eugenics) programs forcibly sterilized black and indigenous women. Where it was presented as an option, the consequence for not following through on these doctor’s “recommendations,” were threats to withhold healthcare or public assistance. The statistics through the 60s and 70s were that roughly 1 in 4 indigenous women were non-consenually sterilized.

          But also, yeah, the results of this trial are fucked and people are right to be skeptical of this drug.

        • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          16
          arrow-down
          4
          ·
          7 months ago

          Maybe not, but female hormonal birth control can cause liver tumors and blood clots. Can’t have more kids if a blood clot kills you.

          The moral of the story should be safer contraceptives for everyone…

          Unfortunately for women they weigh the side effects of hormonal birth control against those of a pregnancy. Since pregnancy also increases the chance of blood clots and other things they just say “good enough!” And put it on the market…which is bullshit. Either way we’re at higher risk of serious health issues.

          That’s why women are angry. I feel confident saying the majority of women dont want unsafe bc for men. We want more research into safer bc options available for us too.

        • Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          2
          ·
          7 months ago

          Sorry it’s very rare to cause the least of the issues on that list, must mean they don’t have a point.

    • triclops6@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      30
      arrow-down
      4
      ·
      7 months ago

      Did this happen? Or was this a satirical take on something that happened to women?

  • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    55
    arrow-down
    4
    ·
    7 months ago

    Man my birth control seems way safer and way more effective. It’s called: “Obesity, Trichotillomania, and absolutely fuck all confidence.”

    • the post of tom joad@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Trichotillomania

      I looked that up. Ouch! Is it ok if i ask whether it hurts or feels ‘good’ to do? You have an urge, or is it like a nervous tic? I’m curious what it is like if’n it’s no trouble

      • kase@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        7 months ago

        Not the person you responded to, but for me it comes and goes as a result of OCD. It does hurt, but not terribly. To describe the urge, it’s a bit like if there’s a big bug on your arm. Once you notice it, it’s difficult to not immediately swat it away, and until you do get it off, you’re gonna be very aware that there’s a bug on your arm. It’s pretty much the same feeling, just directed toward hair instead of bug.

        It might be totally different for other people, but that’s just my experience.

        • the post of tom joad@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          …there’s a bug on your arm. It’s pretty much the same feeling…

          I may be getting the wrong idea cus of the analogy, but is it directed towards a general spot on your scalp or do you feel like a specific follicle crawling on you you must remove? Wait, does talking about it increase the urge? Sorry if so, I’m really curious

          • kase@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            4
            ·
            7 months ago

            Ah fuck, I worded that poorly. No, talking about it is fine, but thanks for asking! I don’t mean the physical sensation is the same, like how you can feel a bug on your arm. Speaking for myself, it’s like the mental reaction of “ick there’s a bug on my arm, I have to get it off”. There’s no physical itch or tickle on my skin. I was trying to make that comparison because generally when there’s a bug on you, it doesn’t bother you if you don’t notice it, and you might not even realize it’s there for a while. But once you notice it or someone points it out, it’d be hard to just ignore it, even if you couldn’t feel it on your skin at all.

            As I’m typing this out, I’m realizing that it’s possible that not everyone experiences quite as strong a reaction to having a bug on their skin that I do, especially as a person with ocd, lmao. But if you do, well, hopefully this helps!

      • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 months ago

        Honestly the pain may be the part that causes the addiction. For me it started when I was 11. I was stressed, untreated for ADHD, and an eyelash was in the way so I just plucked it. The result was immediate relaxation. The next time I got an eyelash I just plucked it before I got stressed. Then I started plucking em when I was bored. Then puberty came and I got the same obsession with ance. That was a long one, then it went to these weird gland things in my mouth for a little bit, then it started on my beard which is by far the worst. It doesn’t hurt anymore, but the moment it itches, fuck everything.

        It’s not an urgent anymore it’s like scratching an itch. It’s automatic. I can’t control it undless I have gloves or wrist braces for the carpal tunnel doing this gave me.

        • the post of tom joad@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          Aargh ive had carpal tunnel to the point i had a brace on my WoW arm (though probably not as severe as yours). I have ADD too and scratch my scalp to where it bleeds when I’m nervous. Oops now im making it bout me lol. I actually just wanted to thank you taking the time to write up this detailed comment. So thanks!

    • GoodEye8@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      7 months ago

      Can’t help you with Trichotillomania but hitting the gym tends to help with weight and confidence. I don’t know your situation but I was bordering on obesity and I was suggested 10min warmup + stronglifts 5x5 + 10min cool down as a routine. I did it for almost a year and it definitely had a impact on my weight and confidence.

      If you’re not sure where to start have a session with a personal trainer with the purpose of setting up your own routine and then just stick with it. It feels really hard at first but after you start seeing results it’ll get easier.

      • catloaf@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        It certainly helps with fitness, and somewhat with confidence, but just being fit isn’t going to get you laid. I’d also see a therapist regularly for the mental and emotional parts of health.

        • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          7 months ago

          Which is exactly why I’m treating both at the same time. Doc got me on Wegovy, and starting out playing beat saber (holy shit 30 minutes of that is incredible, sweat, aches everywhere, maybe not visible progress but damn I feel like moving is less effort) and in therapy for everything in my life.

          Right now I’m learning my strengths. Hard to do for someone without a lot of confidence.

  • Alerian@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    45
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 months ago

    Not saying the pill won’t eventually appear but the track record for men contraception hitting the market is not good. It always get cancelled in an endless loop of disapointment.

    People serious about sharing the load or protecting women from the aide effect of birth control should look up vasectomy or thermal contraception. It works.

    I’ve been on thermal contraception for 6months myself and my sperm production bas completely stoped with no side effects. Highly recommend.

    • kofe@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      7 months ago

      Should be noted vasectomies aren’t reliably reversible after a certain point, but if you know you don’t want kids, by all means. I’d rather my partner take that leap than me have to have more invasive surgery

      • Alerian@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        Yeah my bad for puting both in the same bag i totally agree. I meant to say that thermal contraception is a good alternative to birth control that men can use, just as vasectomy is a viable alternative to tubal litigation. And both are easier and with less side effect than the woman counterpart.

      • Alerian@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 months ago

        It is not in this case at least. The method relies on using a device (usually a ring) to push the testicles hiver in your body, and the temperature there is enough to stop spermatogenesis. The current method involves stopping every 3 years for at l’East 6 months to ensure production returns to normal. There is no documented side effect, though it should be noted that as always in this area, fully documented medical trial are pending. You my ne referring to other methods using higher temps or external device such as heating boxer but i have not experienced not researched those so i cannot answer you.

  • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    41
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 months ago

    can’t wait for the inevitable surge of pregnancies, as people learn that that sperm doesn’t just fucking disappear, and that it needs to be manually cleared first.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️@yiffit.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        21
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        No one likes a raunchy coochie/schlong

        Untrue. There are some people that specifically seek that, along with the STDs called “bug chasers.” Since I’ve been cursed with this knowledge, so must you all be.

      • cro_magnon_gilf@sopuli.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        4
        arrow-down
        15
        ·
        7 months ago

        Honestly, I think condoms are unrealistic. Fucking with a condom is so totally useless that you almost feel a bit resentful of the woman after. Like she has bad minge or something. The first time I had sex I was a good boy and used a condom and I just quit after a while, and sat down and wondered what the fuck was wrong. She thought I’d finished.

        Saying “wear a rubber” is stupid. For a lot of people, sex with a condom is completely useless. I’ll wear one the first time with a woman as I ofc want to get imtimate, but the sex itself will be useless.

        • frankspurplewings@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          10
          ·
          7 months ago

          If you aren’t creative enough to get off, then sex with you is probably useless too. 🤷🏼‍♀️

          But lame ass roasting aside, being responsible during sex is important. Being able to communicate your wants and needs is absolutely necessary. I’ll tell you that I also hated condoms during sex, but it took being with my partner about six months before I felt comfortable enough to bring up a discussion about having sex without condoms. We then talked about the risks of accidental pregnancy, STDs, and my hormones and birth control. In the long term, the time period we used condoms was worth it because we learned each other’s bodies, as well as each other’s personalities. Once we did move to sex without condoms, it was sooooo much better, but we also were better communicators and the sex was wayyy more fun.

          You have to be willing to put in the time and effort and trust that leads to a real connection first.

          • cro_magnon_gilf@sopuli.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            6
            ·
            7 months ago

            If you aren’t creative enough to get off, then sex with you is probably useless too. 🤷🏼‍♀️

            But lame ass roasting aside

            Not gonna pretend that I don’t deserve it, or that I’m very polite either, but beginning every response with an insult is not some clever ‘roasting’.

            I don’t agree with you that it should take half a year of learning your partner for sex to be good. If you’re attentive and interested in getting your partner off, then you can do that the first time, or certainly atleast in a shorter time than that. But it’s going to differ between different people ofc.

  • Spaceballstheusername@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    28
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    7 months ago

    I’ve heard of a male birth control every couple years and still nothing on the market. Usually it’s because there are slight side effects and that’s considered to much of a risk meanwhile female birth control can cause blood clots and whatnot. I’m too jaded to believe this will ever come to fruition.